Water Over Rocks

Indeed, Andy. It's nice to have finally landed. I'...

2010-03-12T14:00:40.020-05:00

Indeed, Andy. It's nice to have finally landed. I've found CBE to be challenging/multifaceted/welcoming. All in one thought/breath. ! Shabbat shalom!!

Your framing is perfectly rendered and all I can s...

2010-03-12T13:06:10.001-05:00

Your framing is perfectly rendered and all I can say is, welcome home! Shabbat Shalom~Andy

Andy, thanks so much for bringing this up. Two yea...

2010-03-12T13:01:16.395-05:00

Andy, thanks so much for bringing this up. Two years ago, when Debbie and I were looking for a rabbi to officiate at our wedding, we were turned down by our synagogue. While we had been warned by friends to expect that outcome (especially in a culturally Conservative but officially unaffiliated synagogue), I couldn't help but lose the desire to attend services for a little while. I honestly believe it wasn't simply out of anger or spite: I'd started feeling out of joint and out of the loop. But I was further surprised and put off by how difficult the search for a rabbi became, regardless of what denomination we approached; even friends reluctantly turned us down. We were very up front about the commitment to raising Jewish children (Deb is Jewish), but that didn't seem to matter. In the end, we found our rabbi, had a beautiful wedding, my bitterness faded, and I went back to attending our synagogue. Eventually the decision to convert, spurred by a desire to be a fully invested Jewish father to my kids, settled on me comfortably, naturally and joyfully. The thing is, I understand in principle why we were turned down. What I don't understand is how there was no sense of an initiative, a desire, to engage a committed non-Jewish partner on *some* level--- the sense of being welcome, of being acknowledged as a representative of the universal human soul and psyche (which is something I found immediately appealing about my first encounter with Judaism in that very synagogue) was lost. And that, despite halakhic principle, was unfortunate.

nice font

2010-03-12T07:15:00.312-05:00

nice font

Yasher Koach on the cultural observation at the ch...

2010-03-11T11:25:32.827-05:00

Yasher Koach on the cultural observation at the check-out line. Though I'll add that in Wisconsin, you could always get the Packers Media Guide but your point is well-taken.

"Perhaps it illustrates just how broken Washington...

2010-03-11T11:15:45.068-05:00

"Perhaps it illustrates just how broken Washington is that the lack of substance makes the cover of a magazine but the real substance is buried in the pages"

It's not just Washington. I think you're a step too far down the road here.

The 'dominant culture' has separated substance and news. Washington, and the magazine, is just responding to that fact-on-the-ground.

Do you remember going grocery shopping with your mom, as a kid? When you went through the check-out line, what magazines were displayed there? Time? Life? US News, even? Now, all that's there are rags displaying "news" stories that, frankly, are none of our business most of the time.

I agree with you that the general populace should get substance, but they don't hunger for it; it would have to be force-fed to them.

hi Andy - well written. I personally disagree with...

2010-03-10T19:19:24.045-05:00

hi Andy - well written. I personally disagree with you on some aspects of this issue but I'm sending this link to the Forward's editor and suggest that she contact you so that it can run in the paper. -dnc

Hi Larry--Thanks for writing. I don't have the sa...

2010-03-10T13:43:12.236-05:00

Hi Larry--Thanks for writing. I don't have the same impression that we rabbis in the CCAR are bitterly divided over this issue. In disagreement, perhaps, but I have not yet experienced any rancor. I think the pragmatism is very real and represents an excellent strategy for moving forward. In some cases, it's true that our leaders have thrown out the baby with the bath water. But when I engage mixed couples, I am very clear about all the Klal Yisrael issues--I consider it my obligation to let them know that their choices and my work with them will have consequences in the broader Jewish world and that, should they desire, those results can always be addressed. This comes up especially with regard to children, where more often than not, families are very open to converting children according to halachic ritual even though a mother is not Jewish. It's precisely the decision these families make to build a Jewish home that makes this work so vitally important. And if one of these "so-called" non-Jewish kids grows up, falls in love with an Orthodox person, and has to deal with his or her status in order to be married, as long as it's dealt with sensitively, everything generally turns out okay.

I would not have expected you to discuss the text ...

2010-03-10T13:21:35.437-05:00

I would not have expected you to discuss the text without giving the Rashi. Your colleagues in the CCAR remain bitterly divided on the subject of officiation at interfaith weddings -- and this feel-good resolution was a way to show the world that the issue is not being ignored, but that there are limits to the consensus.

It appears to me, as a lay person, that rabbis who choose to officiate are redefining their role, which used to be to officiate at Jewish marriages and has become, in the eyes of some, to create Jewish households.

Reform Judaism, throughout its history, has thrived through pragmatism, and has from time to time discovered that, in the process of being pragmatic (for which some might read permissive), they have thrown the baby out with the bathwater. Let us hope that that does not turn out to be the case, nor that the current leniency does not severely disrupt our ability to engage with klal Yisrael.

I had the opportunity to be a chaperone when our p...

2010-03-08T16:16:37.935-05:00

I had the opportunity to be a chaperone when our post-confirmation class did the same thing a few years ago. It was wonderful to see our teenagers so engaged in the topics they had been studying. And even though most of our kids' ideas and proposals were not in line with the beliefs and actions of our very conservative senators and representatives, they were listed to with courtesy. The aides and staffers we met with complimented our teens on their knowledge of the issues and the very competent way they presented their cases. What a great opportunity to learn about the peaceful way to petition our government.

to the question you pose at the end, "Is the Refor...

2010-03-08T10:56:06.843-05:00

to the question you pose at the end, "Is the Reform movement growing because of what we offer? Or are we growing because of what we *do not* demand?" i note on the home page of the temple's website the item "Welcome to CBE" which begins:
"Congregation Beth Elohim ... is the largest and most active Reform congregation in Brooklyn. CBE is host to a variety of youth and family education programs, musical and artistic performances, and religious and social activities."

am i overreading when i wonder why the religious activites of the synagogue are mentioned third, after musical and artistic performances?

In our (sensibly) security-conscious synagogues, h...

2010-03-07T00:53:47.488-05:00

In our (sensibly) security-conscious synagogues, how many leaders would choose to make the chapel available all day, for those who want the comfort of "sacred space" for private prayer?

And if we are not going to facilitate individual prayer, how many Reform congregations could muster a minyan to offer communal prayer?

I would agree with Rabbi Bachman on the idea that Reform congregations should meet their communities' demand for daily prayer opportunities, if I thought that such a demand exists. I know that the large urban congregation I used to belong to eventually discontinued its longstanding 5:45 service because too often the only person there was the designated volunteer service leader.

Now maybe if that congregation had maintained a minyan requirement, and had worked at building a minyan.....No, I'm inclined to believe that even my hypothetical is so much wishful thinking.

David--I don't see the distinction between the stu...

2010-03-06T15:48:17.240-05:00

David--I don't see the distinction between the study of Torah, the study of the Hebrew language, the practice of performing good deeds and the practice of prayer as distinct from one another. In a hierarchy of what Judaism demands of us, I see them as normatively equal. Judaism demands that we engage in each of those "pillars" to the best of our ability. Is there a judgment if we do not? In a way, yeah. But so what? Don't you measure yourself against standards of performance at work? When you run in the park? In your personal friendships? Why should a religious tradition not demand of us as well? Even if one is an atheist, one can exist in a community that has standards of expectation. Though not enforced (I sincerely doubt a national body of Reform leaders, by the way, could agree on national standards--the movement would inherently reject it as "non-Reform")standards locally, or by community, are a concept well worth pursuing if a community decides it wants to create an aspirational vision for what that community represents.

But I think you overstate the "judging" aspect of all this. So 20 people out of a congregation of 750 families show up at daily minyan. There would be no judgment of those who *don't* show up; but for the 20 who do, why deprive them of the feeling and satisfaction of fulfilling an obligation to do so?

Not so fast, Elmer Gantry. The title of your entr...

2010-03-06T15:23:45.529-05:00

Not so fast, Elmer Gantry. The title of your entry is "What We Do Not Demand." There is a strong suggestion there, and all the more so from the text that follows, that you would at least like to consider investing normative Reform practice with a daily ritual of prayer. Now, if that were somehow to happen - for example, the governing bodies resolved to make it so - wouldn't that effectively render those of us who refrained less than full-fledged practicing Reform Jews? So I do think there is a measure of judging in your suggestion. The judgment you cast, of course, is not a personal one, and that's by no means the message you convey in any of the several forums at your disposal. Nonetheless, it's hard not to feel that one would be failing to live up to a standard of some sort by not engaging in daily prayer, were that to become an accepted tenet of the Reform Judaism. Incidentally, I'm also not clear where that leaves the conversation. I'm certainly not suggesting that such a concept shouldn't be put forth for fear of alienating the "Scientific" arm of the movement, as I am today dubbing us. I'm simply trying to get my bearings in this discussion. [NB: if memory serves, my great hero Rabbi Mordecai Kaplan referred to Reform Judaism as "Reformist." He also described it as a "smile without the cat." What do we think of his terminology?]

I have become friends with some Orthodox people in...

2010-03-06T06:10:15.313-05:00

I have become friends with some Orthodox people in Chicago. Since I was raised Reform, they told me that the problem with the Reform movement is that certain things that determine Jewishness are watered down so much that it is no longer really Jewish (observing Shabbat, Keeping Kosher, etc.) Your comments on Jewish people in the Reform movement not praying hit pretty close to home and made me think. I tend to pray when I have some great difficulty in life, like if I or a good friend is sick. Like anything else, practice makes perfect and praying is no exception. Thanks.

I'm all about this.

2010-03-05T15:24:43.979-05:00

I'm all about this.

DP: First of all, there's a problem with my messa...

2010-03-05T15:13:57.532-05:00

DP: First of all, there's a problem with my message if you take it as my proselytizing or judging you. I'm not. My faith in God is my own; that I find God (sometimes) in prayer is a good benefit for which I am grateful. I am, rather, trying to describe the benefit of *doing* ritual in a daily way that deepens ones relationship with God or Not-God but certainly with Judaism and the Jewish people. The end result, arguably, is the same. But as a person of faith, God motivates me. So don't see my persuasive language as *din* but as simply speaking from where I am. Now, happy Shabbos you big ignoramus. (Kidding, kidding.)

As someone who enjoys prayer and has tried and wan...

2010-03-05T14:46:41.292-05:00

As someone who enjoys prayer and has tried and wants to continue to try to pray on a regular basis I really liked your blog today Andy. I also, found David's comments thought provoking. I do not think everyone needs to do what I do to be a "good" Jew, but I wonder if there is something to be gained from praying that is missed by those who opt out. And it may be in that vein that Andy focuses on this matter. If, and you may be one of those people, one tries prayer and find it doesn't work, I think that is one thing, versus the person who just says, nope don't want to do it, it would do nothing for me.

In the words of the great Jewish philosopher Barne...

2010-03-05T11:34:49.205-05:00

In the words of the great Jewish philosopher Barney Frank, let me answer your question with a question. Why does it matter so much to you whether I believe in G-d, and, as a corollary, whether I pray? Honestly, I’ve given a fair amount of thought to question of why some of the brightest people I know, including you, believe in God, pray to it and are concerned about what I do. Does it make me a lesser member of the community that I haven’t carved out some concept of a greater power for myself, whether anthropomorphic, polymorphic, angry, judgmental ineffable or otherwise? The list goes on because none of you believers seems to be able to define what exactly it is that you are praying to or about. Perhaps that’s the charm of it: the one corner of your lives where you have be problem solvers, think in scientific terms and be rational. As you know, I’m all for community. Many undoubtedly derive great moral strength by associating their communal urge with a divine mission. Others among us, however, don’t make such a fit. Does that automatically make us vulgar Jews? Do we have a lesser moral standing as a result? Is my soul in jeopardy? I’m not asking these questions to be provocative. I believe they are a fair response to what seems like a constant din from the rabbinate imploring us to buy into the full package as you experience it. Tell my why it matters, how what I do falls short and I’ll consider it. Otherwise, your God, and the prayerful service owed to it, will remain an abstraction for me.

Hey Val--I agree that the commitment to social jus...

2010-03-05T09:38:32.368-05:00

Hey Val--I agree that the commitment to social justice and inclusiveness are absolutely essential to Reform ideology. But I wouldn't dismiss Tachanun so easily--I see lots of sinning going on out there. A little humility and self-reflection can go a long way. In terms of all the Kaddishes--I'm mixed. It can seem onerous. But it's also exceptionally powerful to be "obligated" to say it so often. I'm sure there's a healthy compromise.

Thanks for writing!

One other reason people (Reform Jews in particular...

2010-03-05T08:27:15.560-05:00

One other reason people (Reform Jews in particular) don't pray: the words don't match up with what us on our minds, in our hearts. Neither the Hebrew nor the English translation expresses the real yearnings or the ambivalent joys we have accurately enough. We are both over-educated and under-educated in this respect.

As to your final question, people choose Reform for both reasons. Reform offers warmth, real commitment to social justice, acceptance and inclusion of people other movements include reluctantly or not at all. And also, Reform Judaism does not demand that we do 4 Chatzi Kaddishes per service and Tachanun, nor really much of anything. The lack of demand (ritually) to do what has become "irrelevant," however, has translated into a lack of demand for anything and has been interpreted by many members (but not all-see the crowds at a house of mourning night after night) as a free pass to have sense of duty.
Well, you asked....

I thought God said, after the flood, that he would...

2010-03-04T12:28:51.241-05:00

I thought God said, after the flood, that he would never destroy everything again. If Moses had not calmed him down, do we think he would have destroyed all those people at the foot of Mt Sinai? And if so, what does that say about the promise he made never to do that again?

“I like paying taxes. With them I buy civilization...

2010-02-28T23:31:32.591-05:00

“I like paying taxes. With them I buy civilization.”

—Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes

“I like paying taxes. With them I buy civilization...

2010-02-28T22:54:42.043-05:00

“I like paying taxes. With them I buy civilization.”

—Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes

I got one: Norman "Spirit in the Sky" Greenbaum: ...

2010-02-25T14:03:54.991-05:00

I got one: Norman "Spirit in the Sky" Greenbaum:

When I die and they lay me to rest
Gonna go to the place that's the best
When I lay me down to die
Goin' up to the spirit in the sky
Goin' up to the spirit in the sky
That's where I'm gonna go when I die
When I die and they lay me to rest
Gonna go to the place that's the best

Prepare yourself you know it's a must
Gotta have a friend in Jesus
So you know that when you die
He's gonna recommend you
To the spirit in the sky
Gonna recommend you
To the spirit in the sky
That's where you're gonna go when you die
When you die and they lay you to rest
You're gonna go to the place that's the best

Never been a sinner I never sinned
I got a friend in Jesus
So you know that when I die
He's gonna set me up with
The spirit in the sky
Oh set me up with the spirit in the sky
That's where I'm gonna go when I die
When I die and they lay me to rest
I'm gonna go to the place that's the best
Go to the place that's the best