it eventually sinks in
This is very interesting, what seemed so obvious to me (but they did not see it or want to admit it) is that they are both right. We need to attack this issue both ways if we want to have an impact. Of course there will always be intermarriage and we need to ensure there are communities and settings that attract and retain these folks. (And BTW, we need settings that attract people whether they are married to other Jews or not even married) But the bottom line is, it is easier to raise Jewish children if both parents are Jewish and support that choice. Of course it is possible to raise totally Jewish kids in an intermarried household, but what many young adults don't know is that it truly does make a difference.There is no saying my marriage would have worked out if my ex-husband had been Jewish, but if I were to do it over again, I would have limited myself to Jewish men and put myself in settings where I could have met more. And I wouldn't have been so damn stubborn when my parents suggested that perhaps it did matter.
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